Chapter 16
"Tracy” I said “What is the real reason you told Chris about everything you promised me you would never tell him?. There has to be more to it. There has to be a reason you told him”
“I told you why” she said “I told him because it wasn’t fair that you were going to betray him”
“So to make it fair my best friend, the one whom I would have entrusted my children to if something were to happen to me. The one I had shared my innermost thoughts with. My best friend, Best friend,” I repeated to emphasize my point “betrayed me to my own husband. You are a Judas” I said to her. I got up and walked to the kitchen to put my tea cup in the sink, my mind still missing something. I still didn't have an answer that satisfied me as to why she told Chris.
“Was it worth it Tracy? Do you feel an inner contentment now that you have told him? Do you feel that by betraying me and destroying our friendship that you can ease your own guilt?”
“My guilt? Why would I feel guilty? What have I done to feel guilty about?
“You tell me.“ I said.
She sat over looking the fields in front of her for sometime in silence before she turned and looked me straight in the eyes and said “I love Chris way to much to see him hurt like that. So I had to tell him. Even if that means he is still with you. He would call me from work just to say hello and somehow we would spend the entire conversation just talking about you. I guess I was jealous of the two of you.”
“I don’t believe what I am hearing. You hypocrite. You judge me because I have feelings for someone else and all the while you are doing the same thing. With my husband no less. The two of you are peas in a pod. You both deserve each other." I got up to leave; I walked to the door and slammed it on my way out.
I sat in the car just trying to put everything in perspective. She betrayed me because she was in love with my husband. Ha! If only I had known that before. They would have made a great couple.
My mind again went into over drive. I once again began to watch Chris like a hawk, but this time I also watched Tracy like a hawk. I really didn't care if something had gone on between Tracy and Chris but I did want to know. I felt I needed to know. Maybe it would ease my guilt. Maybe if I knew he had done the same thing I could call it even and move on.
In the past few years Chirs had gone to Tracy’s numerous times to repair her computer. A lot of the time I didn't go with him. I didn't go because I honestly didn't feel the need to go. I trusted her. And I don’t think I had a problem with Chris being around her so there really was no need for me to be there everytime.
When he came home, sometimes hours later he was always in a good mood. Still at the time I thought nothing of it. It wasn’t until I knew she had told Chris about Jon that my mind began to wonder. Then I started to think everything over, almost reliving the past couple of years in my mind. I remembered things that she told me that had happened on some of the occasions Chris had been there to work on her PC. There was the time she was in bed when he arrived. On this day her husband Roger was home so he went into wake her to tell her that Chris was here to fix the computer problem. She told me that she got up and dressed as she walked down the hallway to the living room. She was just pulling her shirt over her head to cover her bare chest when she looked up and saw Chris sitting in full view of her.
And then there was the time she said he had fixed some program that she had trouble with for weeks, she was so happy he fixed the error that she grabbed his head and rubbed it into her bosoms.
There were always lengthy phone calls. At times I would answer the phone and other than a quick hello, she just wanted to speak to Chris. There was also the time when Tracy and I were talking about people who have had affairs and she told me that I should become friends with Jon’s wife. I thought that was an odd thing to say so I asked her why. She said because affairs between best friends husbands are the best ones to have. “Really? Why” I asked puzzled. “Because the other spouse would never suspect anything. And the reason they don’t is because they know their best friend would never do a thing like that”
Obviously Jon was less than impressed that my husband found out about our plans. So needless to say our association ceased. Although most of our contact was via email or phone I missed him. I really missed opening my emails and not seeing one from him. I missed the 3 AM phone calls to keep me awake while I was working . Not that I got one very often but it was still lovely to just talk to him.
How ever it did become increasingly evident to me that Jon had moved on quickly. He wouldn’t return my calls or emails. On the odd occasion that he did reply it was very brief and to the point. Almost as if it were strained. Almost as if he didn't want to talk to me but for whatever reason felt he had to.
About a years after my husband found out about Jon and as I began to move on I got an email from him letting me know that he would be in town on business. I replied and told him that I would love to catch up and see him. I phoned him on the day after I had finished my night shift. During the phone conversation it became increasingly obvious that he wanted to meet up for a romantic rendezvous.
“I told you why” she said “I told him because it wasn’t fair that you were going to betray him”
“So to make it fair my best friend, the one whom I would have entrusted my children to if something were to happen to me. The one I had shared my innermost thoughts with. My best friend, Best friend,” I repeated to emphasize my point “betrayed me to my own husband. You are a Judas” I said to her. I got up and walked to the kitchen to put my tea cup in the sink, my mind still missing something. I still didn't have an answer that satisfied me as to why she told Chris.
“Was it worth it Tracy? Do you feel an inner contentment now that you have told him? Do you feel that by betraying me and destroying our friendship that you can ease your own guilt?”
“My guilt? Why would I feel guilty? What have I done to feel guilty about?
“You tell me.“ I said.
She sat over looking the fields in front of her for sometime in silence before she turned and looked me straight in the eyes and said “I love Chris way to much to see him hurt like that. So I had to tell him. Even if that means he is still with you. He would call me from work just to say hello and somehow we would spend the entire conversation just talking about you. I guess I was jealous of the two of you.”
“I don’t believe what I am hearing. You hypocrite. You judge me because I have feelings for someone else and all the while you are doing the same thing. With my husband no less. The two of you are peas in a pod. You both deserve each other." I got up to leave; I walked to the door and slammed it on my way out.
I sat in the car just trying to put everything in perspective. She betrayed me because she was in love with my husband. Ha! If only I had known that before. They would have made a great couple.
My mind again went into over drive. I once again began to watch Chris like a hawk, but this time I also watched Tracy like a hawk. I really didn't care if something had gone on between Tracy and Chris but I did want to know. I felt I needed to know. Maybe it would ease my guilt. Maybe if I knew he had done the same thing I could call it even and move on.
In the past few years Chirs had gone to Tracy’s numerous times to repair her computer. A lot of the time I didn't go with him. I didn't go because I honestly didn't feel the need to go. I trusted her. And I don’t think I had a problem with Chris being around her so there really was no need for me to be there everytime.
When he came home, sometimes hours later he was always in a good mood. Still at the time I thought nothing of it. It wasn’t until I knew she had told Chris about Jon that my mind began to wonder. Then I started to think everything over, almost reliving the past couple of years in my mind. I remembered things that she told me that had happened on some of the occasions Chris had been there to work on her PC. There was the time she was in bed when he arrived. On this day her husband Roger was home so he went into wake her to tell her that Chris was here to fix the computer problem. She told me that she got up and dressed as she walked down the hallway to the living room. She was just pulling her shirt over her head to cover her bare chest when she looked up and saw Chris sitting in full view of her.
And then there was the time she said he had fixed some program that she had trouble with for weeks, she was so happy he fixed the error that she grabbed his head and rubbed it into her bosoms.
There were always lengthy phone calls. At times I would answer the phone and other than a quick hello, she just wanted to speak to Chris. There was also the time when Tracy and I were talking about people who have had affairs and she told me that I should become friends with Jon’s wife. I thought that was an odd thing to say so I asked her why. She said because affairs between best friends husbands are the best ones to have. “Really? Why” I asked puzzled. “Because the other spouse would never suspect anything. And the reason they don’t is because they know their best friend would never do a thing like that”
Obviously Jon was less than impressed that my husband found out about our plans. So needless to say our association ceased. Although most of our contact was via email or phone I missed him. I really missed opening my emails and not seeing one from him. I missed the 3 AM phone calls to keep me awake while I was working . Not that I got one very often but it was still lovely to just talk to him.
How ever it did become increasingly evident to me that Jon had moved on quickly. He wouldn’t return my calls or emails. On the odd occasion that he did reply it was very brief and to the point. Almost as if it were strained. Almost as if he didn't want to talk to me but for whatever reason felt he had to.
About a years after my husband found out about Jon and as I began to move on I got an email from him letting me know that he would be in town on business. I replied and told him that I would love to catch up and see him. I phoned him on the day after I had finished my night shift. During the phone conversation it became increasingly obvious that he wanted to meet up for a romantic rendezvous.
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